I Hate Proclamations!

We’ve all seen it, those stupid “proclamations” people make just because.  I will excuse New Years resolutions, because its a traditional thing to do.

But those idiots who run around making these fucking dumbass proclamations such as:


“Oh my god, from this day forward, I am going to have a perfect life!  I am going to eat right forever and always have a positive attitude!”

Sure you are.

In two days you’ll have a fucking soda and all your fake-ass bipolar manic happiness will go out the fucking window.

BAM!  It’s that fast, too.

I get making life choices and everything, but people give up so damn easily!

We ALL make these choices.  And sometimes we fail.

But sometimes, just sometimes, we succeed.

And you know why?

BECAUSE WE DON’T MAKE A FUCKING PROCLAMATION ABOUT IT!

We make our changes silently, and quietly.  So we don’t feel like failures when we fall off the wagon and go back to our normal programming.  Mostly because there is nobody to answer to.  Instead, we just accept it, and move forward and keep chugging along until we get to where we want to go.

I don’t want to announce to the world every five minutes that “I am going to change my life forever!” because A) I hate people and don’t need them knowing my business, B) Who the fuck are these people for me to answer to??  and C) I don’t need an audience to change.

If I announce my shit, I WILL fail.  That’s guaranteed.  It didn’t take me long to figure that one out.  But apparently for some, it does.  We had a girl in our online women’s group who would announce constantly about her “life changes” and how she was “going to get organized once and for all” like THIRTY FUCKING TIMES and “I am going to get into shape once and for all!”, yet it never happened.  None of it.  Not once.

Why?  Because A) She’s a quitter (like the rest of us), B) Nobody would think she’s a quitter if she didn’t announce the same shit over and over again and C) Telling an audience she was going to “get it right this time” every single time she posted online is a sure-fire way to to make it not happen.  Why?  I dunno.  It just does.

Its has to do with Newton’s Law of Repelling, which states “Any object in motion will stay in motion, unless its doing it front of an audience, which will then cause it to get ADHD and run off at the first sign of “SHINY!!””

So, in short, proclamations are for suckers!

So stop being a sucker and start being a smarty pants like me, who fails in sweet, sweet silence 🙂

Because when I fail alone in the forest, and nobody is there to witness it, did I even fail at all?

Ponder that shit for a moment.

You’re welcome.

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