Tuesday’s Guide to Not Being a Dick on the Internet

People really piss me off.  People in real life piss me off.  People online piss me off even more.  I think you know what I am talking about.

The problem with people today is selfishness. And out of that selfishness comes the idea that you think you have to open your mouth (or type your thoughts) into every little thing that comes up.  The whole “People NEED to Know What I am Thinking Right Now!!!” Syndrome.   Guess what, idiots?  They don’t.  Nobody does.

If someone says something online that you don’t agree with or that you don’t do (like someone says “I do this!” and you think “I don’t do that”, keep your fucking mouth shut.  Because nobody cares.  The only thing that you’re doing, is disrupting that person’s thoughts or question by inserting yourself into their conversation.  And who the fuck do you think you are?

You think you’re so important that your words always matter.  You feel like you are entitled to say your opinion, even when it doesn’t have anything to do with what someone is asking.  The keyword here is “entitled”.  That’s what’s wrong with us today.  We are all entitled assholes and feel nothing that resembles humility or being humble.

And I am just as guilty of this as you are.

It’s a bad habit.  It’s a way of thinking.  A way of acting.  We aren’t even aware we are doing it sometimes.  And other times, we just don’t give a shit.

Let me give you a piece of advice:


None of us are.  While the world wants us all to believe we are special gifts of Jebus, in reality we are just fellow pieces of bacteria, all trying to make it in the world.  You aren’t more special than me, nor I more than you.  We are equal.  Granted, I like to feel superior over people that are total morons, but our opinions?  They don’t mean jack shit.

Human life is special.

Human opinions are retarded.

If I ask people online, together as a whole, something such as:

“Do you guys know if there are any male centered style (insert thing here) that I can take a look at?”

And your fucking answer is “Male and female ones aren’t much different” or some other idiotic opinion that is NOT an actual answer to my question???  Shut the fuck up.  For real.  Just shut up.  I didn’t ask your fucking opinion, now did I?  I asked if you know of any.  And if your answer is NO, then why don’t your try something new and say nothing???  Oh yeah, now that’s a new concept, now isn’t it??  Keeping quiet?  If your answer is “no” to anything at all, TRY SAYING NOTHING.  NADA.  ZILCH.  My question is for people who WOULD know what I am talking about.  This isn’t a fucking conversation starter, this is a QUESTION.  With a CONCRETE answer.  The ONLY answers I want to see are “Yes, here is an example.”  That IS IT.

But for some reason, whenever I ask ANY GODDAMNED question online, it becomes a fucking debate.  It becomes a conversation piece.  And not one idiot will actually answer what I asked. NOT ONE.  I will then delete said question and start over.  And it never ends.

Not everyone gives a flying rat’s ass about your stupid opinion.  Actually, nobody does.  If a question is asked, and you don’t know the answer or don’t agree with the question?  Shut.  The.  Fuck.  Up.  Just move on to the next thing to read.  Can you do that?  I am sure going to try.   Because I will practice what I preach and I will BE THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.  That’s a real-world application to a fucking smart piece of advice.

I am not one of those people who demand the world changes for me and yet I will still keep on doing the same thing I am asking others to stop doing.  That’s just arrogant.  Instead, I will back up my shit up by practicing what I am preaching.  Why don’t you try that, too?  We all can use that kind of advice in our lives.  Be the goddamned change you wish to see in the world.  And I wish you’d all be fucking humble with your words and keep your trap shuts when you have NOTHING to actually add to a conversation.  And I will do the same.

Now, go have a happy fucking Christmas (or whatever holiday you want to) and be a humble piece of shit instead of an opinionated piece of shit.  Now THAT would be a fucking holiday miracle.  Be that miracle.  And watch how much you change things, including your own life.


Later skaters.  Go humble that shit up.



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