HA! Just kidding! Made you click!
But still, he is….something. His latest song on his new album “The Unruly Mess I Made” called “White Privilege II” is just pissing me the fuck off.
Yes, I am white. And yes, I like Mackelmore. And no, I do mostly do not listen to gangsta rap. This isn’t white privilege or racism. Because I do love rap music, but I mainly feel there has been a HUGE nosedive in the quality of rap music since Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg got elderly and moved into a nursing home for old rap artists called “Titties and Weed”. Take Drake for example. A Canadian doucheball who can’t dance or sing or rap, and yet he’s out there killing it in record sales.
And this makes me ask the ultimate question: what in the holy fuck is wrong with this world? And if Macklemore wants to bitch about Miley and Iggy ripping off black music, then what is Drake doing? He’s a dark skinned man guy from CANADA. What the fuck kind of ghetto does CANADA have? What kind of street thugs do they have?? NONE. THEY ARE ALL TOO FUCKING NICE TO ONE ANOTHER UP THERE!
Here is an actual conversation Drake had with a guy on the street last week: “Excuse me sir, I think you made a disparaging comment about my respected lady friend here, eh.” “Oh sorry, kind sir, I must apologize. I was not referring to your respected lady friend, I was referring to Macklemore’s new song about White Privilege. It’s quite the foot stomper! Eh.” Then they hugged and became BFFs. TRUE. STORY.
So back to the fact that I am white and my two favorite male rap artists are Macklemore and Eminem. I love them both for two totally different reasons: M because he raps about fun stuff that I relate to (like thrift shopping because THAT IS MY LIFE!), and he raps about socially conscious stuff I (usually) relate to (read: not this stupid song I am bitching about here). E because he makes me angries. And when I am angries, I listen to his music and it makes me MORE angries and I love it and it releases that anger so I can let it go. Because sometimes, I want to scream FUCK THE FUCKING WORLD! And E lets me do that by listening to his music. Thank you Eminem! I relate to your struggle. I relate to having a kooky mom who is insane and abusive. I relate to being poor white trash. I relate to living in Detroit! Just kidding. I grew up with a golfcourse as my front yard (oh no, white privilege!–but in reality, we were po as shit).
I do NOT relate to Drake’s hotline that blings. WHAT THE FUCK IS A HOTLINE THAT BLINGS?? SPEAK ENGLISH YOU CANADIAN WEIRDO!! If Bieber can manage it, you can too. But maybe Bieber has a US English committee that works for him and teaches him the proper things to say when he’s singing songs. Drake just has a dude that writes his music that says “Oh yeah, let’s make a song about a hotline that blings, eh?” He replies “Oh yeah, that’s a really wonderful idea, eh. You are super smart!” Fucking complimentary Canadians. He didn’t even have the heart to tell him that the song idea sucks. He just sang it anyways, because Canadians are incapable of hurting anyone’s feelings. It’s in their DNA.
Yet, I DO NOT need to relate to an artist in order to like them. I love Nicki Minaj, and I do not relate starships that fly or to a guy wearing a thing on his eye. But I can sometimes, if I know the words, rap to that song and sound a tad like her. Is that racist? If I got some balls and became a rap artist who sounded like Nicki, would I be stealing her culture? What about if I learned to speak Spanish and used a really good accent? What if I learned to sing Spanish in a great Spanish accent? Would I be using my white privilege to make money? Would I need to apologize to Mexicans and Cubans and Puerto Ricans? Macklemore would probably think so. And then he’d add me into the song “White Privilege III”. Because he seems to love accusing people of stealing other race’s cultures! Yay!
In his song, he refers to Elvis, too. Was Elvis a fucking dick (maybe?) who did that on purpose because he thought “I will make so much money at this!” Or did he steal moves and ways of singing from black culture because he loved it? He did live in Memphis in the 1950’s. I am sure he hung around a LOT of different races at various times in his life. That didn’t make him privileged. That made him smart.
Dear Mack (I am tired of writing your whole name), do you think the lead singer Corey Glover of Living Colour was stealing white culture when he’d head bang his gorgeous long hair and singing “Cult of Personality”? He sang metal music. And he was black. I dare you to close your eyes and listen to him and hear his race. Then I dare you to you do the same for Iggy. Did Darius Rucker steal white culture when he turned country and put on a fake southern accent? Shit, Darius always sounded white. I dare you to close your eyes and listen to Hootie and tell me what you hear.
It’s songs like Mackelmore’s that is CREATING exactly what he’s bitching about. By being white and bitching about being white, you’re using your fucking privilege to do so. Not only that, but it’s creating a huge issue where there isn’t one. YOU, sir, are creating more rifts where instead we need to close them.
And instead, Iggy is creating unification by being a white (partially Aboriginal) Australian recreating Southern Rap by imitating their style. Because: people who grow out of their own race and their own culture to explore the culture and race of others are not only brave, but pioneers. And on the contrary, when you’re a little white dude rapping about thrift stores and mopeds and then you go on some song rant about young black men dying at the hands of cops, how are you helping anything? You aren’t being a pioneer. You’re being an armchair activist. You’re being a little bitch. You’re picking on people, for what?? You don’t approve of Iggy’s accent? Well boo hoo, Mack. Boo fucking woo. What does that matter? You aren’t the king of rap music. You don’t get to say who’s relevant and who isn’t. The FANS do. And the fans have spoken: Iggy has brought a type of rap music into the spotlight that most young people haven’t heard before. She’s keeping that shit alive. I don’t like all her music. Hell, I only like a few of her songs, but for real, Mack, get with the program. STOP PULLING THE RACE CARD.
When Living Colour takes the stage or performs at a venue, who do you think their audience is? Who? Here, let me link a video, and you tell me how many black people are in the audience (that dude can SHRED on guitar!!). They went into their genre KNOWING that 99% of their fans would be white. And that? That takes some fucking balls!. They were pioneers in a genre that used to ONLY be hairy white dudes. They didn’t steal our culture. Hell fucking no! They took that culture and ripped it apart and showed us they had a place in our music. They showed us there really was NO “our” music. Instead they showed us that music is for the people, and by the people, and not for specific races. You can rap like Dr. Dre and be white, you can sing country music and be black, and you SHRED at metal music and also be black. You can be a talented southern rap artist and be from Australia. You can sway your hips and sing the blues and be a white guy from Memphis. STOP SAYING THERE IS A FUCKING LINE THAT A PERSON OF ANY RACE CANNOT CROSS IN MUSIC! Because, motherfucker, everyone has already proved you wrong. You think because you rap like a white guy that you are immune to your own rant? Or is your point that you do belong in it? That you feel guilty? If so, shut the fuck up. “I am a rich person who raps and makes videos and now I am going to cry about it and feel guilty because I am white.” Oh wait, did I just get your song? Are you making a point that being a little white bitch boy crying about white privilege IS white privilege???? Oh wow. If so, bravo. If not, well, I made my point here.
I will add one last thing, keep on bitching about others stepping out of their own cultures and expanding others’ cultures by doing so, and let’s see how anyone will care when they are still touring and your CD’s…..will only be bought at the thrift shop…….